Interesting Concepts

I have always felt that being a good listener is one of the most important parts of any kind of relationship. I found the concept of decoding messages: Listening and perception to very interesting. I found this to be interesting because listening is such an important part of communication and I think that some people don’t really understand that. While listening is an essential in creating and maintaining relationships, listening is a complex process. I also found the chapter on Language and Social Identity interesting especially when it talks about expressive cultures and how emotions that we use without even thinking are portrayed. Language gives us power if we use language wisely, we can control communication as the book says. I think this quote is spot on and have seen this happen in everyday life. I also like how the book says, language is a powerful tool. It allows us to influence, regulate, persuade, and dominate one another. It makes us the humans we are. The list goes on about the interesting concepts that I have taken from this book, and this class but these were the few that really stood out to me.

Throughout This Course...

This class has kept me interested all along. From curiosity of what our next week discussion is going to be, to what everyone is class has to say, I have thoroughly enjoyed the steps throughout this class. My favorite thing about this class had to be hearing what my fellow peers had to say and their feedback to what I wrote. I think you can really learn a lot about someone through their writing. I also really enjoyed making the journal entrees because it put the work that we were doing for this class into our own lives and we had to perceive that in any which way we pleased. I really enjoyed the freedom that came with this class as well. At first I didn’t really understand how this class could work being as though normally a communication class would be in person. I think the balance of this class has been a phenomenal experience for me. My least favorite part of this class was that we all never had a chance to meet, but that is what happens when you sign up for a online course. If I could change anything, there were times when I wish that people had commented on my posts just so that I could get some feedback, maybe I would make a rotation of whose blog you write on. I don’t know if that would work well or not but it would be worth a shot. Other than that, the class has been a great experience and I have gained so much from the book, and the discussions.

My favorite

This class has made me interested all along. From curiosity of what our next week discussion is going to be, to what everyone is class has to say, I have thoroughly enjoyed the steps throughout this class. My favorite thing about this class had to be hearing what my fellow peers had to say and their feedback to what I wrote. I think you can really learn a lot about someone through their writing. I also really enjoyed making the journal entrees because it put the work that we were doing for this class into our own lives and we had to perceive that in any which way we pleased. I really enjoyed the freedom that came with this class as well. At first I didn’t really understand how this class could work being as though normally a communication class would be in person. I think the balance of this class has been a phenomenal experience for me. My least favorite part of this class was that we all never had a chance to meet, but that is what happens when you sign up for a online course. If I could change anything, there were times when I wish that people had commented on my posts just so that I could get some feedback, maybe I would make a rotation of whose blog you write on. I don’t know if that would work well or not but it would be worth a shot. Other than that, the class has been a great experience and I have gained so much from the book, and the discussions.

Communication a game?

When I consider the pragmatic perspective, and I do think it is valid to say that we think of communication as a patterned interaction. Let me and try and put this into perspective, we have so many routines when it comes to communication. When you see someone you say, "hello", "how are you?" The list goes on and on. We use communication as something that we can relate to in all of us and that we can depend on as well. When I think of communication and how it is relating to a game, it brings me to the beggining of a relationship, and how according to "who ever" playing a "game" to try and tease the person and make them want you more is what we are all suppose to be doing. I personally HATE games when it comes to a relationship and think that you should just be honest and open about how you feel. But I do think that communication can work with and be a game if you want it to. I know that in some way or another we have all used communication to our advantage either to get us somewhere or make something happen for ourselves. Communication is a beautiful thing and such an important attribute in any kind of relationship. At the same time thinking of communciation in my eyes as such a honest, natural tool , I don't see why anyone would want to really use it as a game because why cant it speak for itself.

Building Words

In and throughout communication we are constantly “building words” either with family, friends, coworkers, or even random people on the streets. I think that a big part of building of words is how we when we first see someone that we haven’t seen in a while, we give them a compliment because it is a polite thing to do. Such as, “wow you look amazing” or “oh my god have you lost weight?” the list of comments go on. Why do we feel like we need to compliment someone right of the bat of seeing them? Is it because we want to break the ice with one another, and we feel like setting the tone with a compliment makes it easier? I know we all do it and it is a part of nature. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with it but thinking more deeply into to it is very interesting. I think this is something in communication that we don’t think twice about and it comes naturally and that helps us “build words” in a way to make the environment seem a little less uncomfortable. In a strange way, I think this does make us happy and can in turn make us successful, you see compliments have a funny way of bringing you confidence and that can lead to a boast in your self esteem in the long run.

Ch.2 Is Communication Intentional?

Chapter 2, had a lot of interesting definitions, models and perspectives about communication but if I had to pick one concept that interested me enough to the point of reading it more than once, it would have to be the question of whether or not communication is intentional. I can agree with the book when it says that, “Some people think it’s impossible to know whether a message is intentional.” I sometimes don’t know how to read people while we are communicating, and I think that happens with a lot of different people. I know we have all seen people from feet away and just assumed by their body language or facial expressions that they are either upset about something, or you can tell from feet away if they are in a good mood. Are we just assuming, or are their actions intentionally happening to affect our thought process and try to feed off their mood? I think we could ask ourselves these questions for days and I don’t know if I would ever get a straight answer because I think that we are all very different. Communication with certain situations can string us to believe one thing to another. I think that we should all keep an open mind and never assume anything in communication is intentional.

Research Methodologies

When looking at popular research methodologies I would have to say that Conversation Analysis was the most interesting to me. It has the researcher describing the content, structure, and function of everyday spoken interaction. I think that this would be a difficult task because people’s interactions are widely misconstrued and this is widely constructed to try and figure out exactly what your conversations are meaning. A research questions I would ask would have to be something like, How does seeing different relationships in conversation change the analysis for you during your research? I would answer the question using performance research, this way it would open the person up. If people know they are being analyzed they are most likely not going to be themselves and that would through off your whole analysis. A good way to approach it would be if you were in the person you are researching own environment, because you know that they would be at ease.

Ethnographers

Ethnographers observe behavior of other people and how members of other cultures interpret their world they must immerse themselves in a culture in an effort to see it through the eyes of its members. I think there are many dilemmas when dealing with being an ethnographer one of the dilemmas that could happen would be giving off the wrong impression in order to try and get to “know” them. Being an ethnographer involves lying to people to make them feel comfortable in their own environment. I think that could really affect someone in the long run. It is almost like they are living a lie part of the time, I think that that would get kind of old and you would end up feeling pretty bad about yourself. Personally I would try and be as knowledge about the person as possible and would find ways that I truly personally to relate to this person and then project that while trying to get to know them and make them more comfortable around me. That way I wouldn’t feel like I was living a lie and could also do a good job at my research.

CH.13 Conducting a Survey

I found the piece on steps in conducting a survey questions to be quite interesting. There have been very few times in my life where I have had to conduct a survey and when I did I found it to be quite difficult. I liked how the chapter went on to say “There are many ways to find out more about others. Careful observation and systematic questing are two “lenses” we can use to uncover insights about human communication. I think that we don’t take enough time really observing human nature, and in a way just let it pass us by. I found it interesting that double- barreled questions should be avoided because they ask several questions at once also leading question should be avoided and they are questions that indicate a preferred response. There is a lot to be learned when it comes to conducting a “perfect” survey. Seeing is believing and reading this chapter has helped me realize a lot that goes into making a great survey.

Mcluhan

I have to say that I disagree with when Mcluhan’s says that the medium is the message because for example when you read a novel and then it turns into a movie, the movie is always better. This is because you get to use your own imagination, there’s no advertising, no distractions. You are then able to focus on what the authors message is, apposed to watching TV, and audience ratings are motives for media output. I feel that, when you read something it leaves a lasting impression because you had to think about every word has you process the material. TV messages fade from memory due to their increase frequency and use of transmission. The coolness of the message can also fluctuate in value because of an audience biases. No matter how the message is received, pre exsisting biases will interpret the message no matter what the medium is.

Interview Process

Trying to get a job in this economy is not the easiest task. As a soon to be graduate of college, I have many fears when it comes to finding a job. The initial part of trying to get a job is the Interview process. In chapter 8, I found the concept about interview skills to be very interesting and helpful because we all need to have these skills down if we want to get the job, whatever it may be. In chapter it says that the “interviewee should have a clear idea of their strengths and weakness, and of course should also research the organization and prepare a cover letter and resume. I really appreciated how the chapter laid out some typical interview questions and reading some of them has really made me think about my own personal life and what I would answer in my own interviews. This area in the chapter has given me a lot to think about and also a lot to work on. I will most definitely go over the part of the chapter before I have my next interview and I am sure this will help me get me the job of my dreams. Being prepared for an interview really goes a long way. Also, asking the interviewer questions after the interview shows great sincere interest for the job, which in the end makes you stand out amongst the many others fighting to have the same opportunity.

Cyberspace

I haven’t thought about my one and only cyber friend for a long time. When I first got AOL in the 6^th grade, I made a friend that lived in England. We became "pen pals" aka email buddies for a few months and I remember thinking it was the coolest thing because she lived so far away and we were the same age but taught each other so much just because we lived in such different cultures. The friendship was VERY different from face to face friendship because in emails and chatting online you don’t get the same feel of their tone as you would if the conversation was happening in front of you. I often thought if our friendship even continued and if we actually met, if we would really be friends and like each other. This was my first and only online friend, I kind of think online relationships can be creepy and weird. I don’t think I could ever try to meet a friend or boyfriend online because for myself, I like to meet people in real life situations.

Filters

I have always been a sucker for a good laugh, so I would have to say personality is the number one filter I use when I eliminate people from consideration as potential romantic partners. There are so many things that a guy could do that would turn me off and would count them as unattractive. The first characteristic I can think of would be someone who constantly talks about themselves and doesn’t care to get to know you. That is something I constantly deal and it drives me insane. I do agree with Duck’s theory but do think it is a bit out dated when it comes to relationships but I think that there are a lot of valid points that are brought up. I don’t think I could or have ever reconsidered a romantic partner after they failed me on the filters. As for a friendship, I would most likely be more open to letting it go past me if the filters didn’t surpass my expectations.

Rigid Roles

Rigid role relations all seem like they would very difficult to deal with but I feel that competitive symmetry would be the hardest to change. Competitive symmetry is when both members of a party fight for the one-up position, this pattern can be stressful and frustrating and can take a toll on the patience of the partners. I think this would put the most strain on a relationship because you don’t want to compete all the time. There has to be a certain balance in the relationship and you have to feel comfortable and confident and not feel you are always trying to one each other up. I think that rigid complementarity would be the most damaging to any relationship this is because it seems like no one is meeting in the middle and one person Is always on a different page. This kind of behavior would never work in a relationship because you need to see eye to eye and work together to build a relationship.

Ch.7- Leadership: How groups choose leaders

In Chapter 7, I found the topic of Leadership: How groups Choose Leaders to very interesting. I think growing up, we all can relate to there being a leader of a group and I have always wondered, “ How does this person become a leader?” In the book, Fisher says that, “leadership is not a story of one member rising through the ranks to triumph because of natural ability or clever manipulation. Rather the leader is a matter of not making mistakes.” I found this point to be very clever because in my eyes he is saying that the leader is someone who is always correct and in some ways is seen as perfect. Another interesting point Fisher points out is, “ in the beginning, all members of the group are in contension for the leadership position (or positions). I guess I never have really seen or heard of being a leader as Fisher thinks it works out to be. At the same time, I know that some people really do consider the leader position in most parts of everyday life.

Ethnocentrism

In Chapter 12, we talked about lots of different way of intercultural communication. I had a very hard time picking one that stood out to me but I think I would have to say that Ethnocentrism is something that really stuck out to me as different. Ethnocentrism is the belief that one's own culture is superior to all others and the tendency to judge all cultures by one's own criteria.I agree with the book when it says that this is not a productive attitude. No one should think that there culture is better than the next. I have been lucky enough to travel a lot and see how people can react to different cultures. I remember when I was living in Europe, people thought that they were better than Americans more often than not. They had this attitude that we are dumb because of so many different reason and one in particular was George Bush. It really makes me sad that people are so weary to try and figure different kind of people out and why in their culture they do things differently than maybe we do. In France it is illegal to work more than 40 hours in a week. They pride themselves off that in there time off they make time to relax, spend time with family and friends and enjoy life. In America we don't necessarily think it is as important to sit down as a family every night and talk about our day and we might think that the french are lazy and we pride ourselves off of how much much we work. You can agree with one way more than the other but I think that it is so special that we have so many different cultures in the world. My question to the world, Why would we not embrace all of them?

Rationality, Perfectibility, and Mutability Premises

I do believe rationality, and that it does work in most scenarios. I had to look the word rationality up and the dictionary says “the quality or state of being agreeable to reason”. To me, I do believe that people will find their own truth, no matter what it may be. When talking about the perfectibility, I don’t believe that people are born to sin. I think that we all are born with no intention of sin and that sin is formed throughout life experience. I think out of all the premises mutability seems to be my favorite and one that I do believe in fully. The premise says that the environment they are surrounded with controls human behavior. I do believe that you can really figure someone out based off how they were raised, and what they have been faced with in life. For example people that come from an abusive family tend to be violent themselves.

Creatures of our Culture

Breaking the "limits of our culture" takes keeping an open mind. It takes experiences, traveling, education, and variety in life, you need to be open for the unknown and the new and then you won't be limited. It can be very challenging to do because a lot of us, as humans get very stuck in “our ways”. I think the best ways to incorporate breaking through the limits of our cultures are by trying new things and breaking through what society calls “The Norm.” We all need to break out of the box of our cultures because getting out of your comfort zone is not a bad thing and can really open all of us up to new and exciting things.I do believe that Ruth is right about that we are “creatures of our culture.” And that what we do as a whole has shaped what we have become and how we are perceived to everyone else as "our culture".

Nonverbal Codes and Verbal Messages

In chapter 5, the book goes on to talk about Nonverbal Codes and Verbal Messages, and I have always found nonverbal communication very interesting and also very fascinating. The book says that “ Sometimes we use nonverbal cues to repeat what we say verbally and we also use nonverbal cues to contradict verbal messages.” It really all depends on your tone and facial structure as the book notes. You could be having a fun and joking conversation but say something that could be taken very seriously. If the person you are talking to sees your face and your body language, that way they will know that you are joking around and being sarcastic. “Joking and sarcasm are culturally recognized patterns, most people understand what their meaning really is.” I think it really depends on the situation and circumstance also it has a big influence on whom you are speaking to. Someone who is light hearted and can take a joke would be someone that you could maybe be more sarcastic with as to a person who is more sensitive probably wouldn’t think you were joking. It really all depends on your surroundings.

Perceiving/ Judging

I am not sure if perceiving and judging might not be the same thing? When I perceive someone, I am somewhat taking them all in. Whatever that may mean and can be taken as a judgment of some sort. When you first meet someone and then start to get to know them I think that without even realizing it you categorize them and in some ways are judging them. In order, to not do this you have a to make a conscious effort all the time and force your brain not to do it. I think that it just happens, and there is no stopping some people’s thoughts. In order to make it more fair we need to get to know the people before we make assumptions about them. Our brain makes it very difficult for us not to instantly place judgments on people. I wish that we could all make a more conscious effort and not judge people right away.

Men vs Women

I do think that men and women use languages differently in many ways. Woman talk, explain and describe using their words in abundance, where as men will use as little of their words as possible to “cut to the chase” and get right to what they want or need. Women love to discuss and men just want the answer short and sweet. Women need verbal stimulation where as men require very little of it in my opinion. This is what I have experienced in my my own life and have observed through time.

I have an example if you ask a man how his work day was and usually the answer is short, to the point and with not much detail. Ask a woman about the same things and she will tell you from beginning to end, plus what everyone had for lunch and what everyone was wearing in the room!

ch.10

In Chapter 10 “Preparing and Presenting Public Speeches” there were a lot of parts of this chapter that were very important. One part of the chapter that really stood out to me was the part on Speech Anxiety. I personally can relate to have anxiety when it comes to speaking in public. The book goes on to list 6 ways to calm yourself before your speech. Rule three is redirect your attention, for example by concentrating on a given audience member or an object with help you keep calm. My favorite of all the steps is concentrate on your message more than yourself. I will constantly worry about the way I look or the way I am talking during the time of public speeches. If there was a way for me to just concentrate on the topic at hand, I know that I will feel a lot more confident and would feel more at ease during my speech. Another part of the chapter that I know will be helpful for me in the future is when the author says “ If you do blank out, try and summarize what you’ve said so far, as this will generally reawaken your memory” This is a common issue when I make speeches, I get nervous and blank out but this is a good strategy to prevent this from happening in the future.

Communication Building Worlds

Communication is definitely not just the words you use and how you use them it is also in the way we handle and carry our selves that helps us communicate better. The book gave a good example of communicating through crying and if you know about what happened before the person had started crying you could better understand the person and what has made them sad and this is all through the act of communication.

In some cultures it is disrespectful to shake someone’s hand when being introduced to them and at the same time, in others it can be rude not to give someone a kiss or hug. I think these concepts can make us either feel more comfortable and at “home” or very uncomfortable and stand offish with communication. Communication has a funny way of making us and our surroundings feel more secure. I have experienced lack of communication while traveling and when you meet someone that can understand you better than the last person you most likely feel a sigh of relief.

Steve Jobs

Throughout my life, I have been lucky enough to hear many different speakers, in many different places. It can be very challenging capturing the audience’s attention and keeping the audience with the speaker at all times throughout his or her speech. In 2005, my cousin graduated from Stanford University. The commencement speech was made by Steve Jobs, who is the co- founder, inventor and chief executive officer of Apple. At the time I did not know who Steve Jobs was. In his speech he speaks about how in life you should never settle, whether it is with your job that you hate or in a relationship that isn’t working. This has always and will always stick with me in my life. Something else Steve says that I think is very powerful was “you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” This speech can really be meaningful to anyone because we all want to be happy and doing working in an environment that makes us happy. I think because Steve had accomplished so much in his life, and he himself has been the one who made it happen. I think his story if very inspiring and the way he told it will forever have a lasting impression on me and my life

One of the worst speakers was a past boss of mine. She has to get in front of all her employers and talk about new important company changes. She was clearly very nervous and had no idea what she was going to say. She kept reading off her note card and showed no eye contact. This was the kind of speech that did not keep the audience directed towards the speacher at all. Everyone was talking amongst themselves. If you want to have a good speech you need to engage with your audience and act like you care about what you are talking about rather than stumbling around reading a card.

Hello Comm World!

Hello Class,

My name is Morgan and I am currently a senior at San Francisco state with a major in Comm, and this will (hopefully) be my last class of my undergraduate career. I am over the moon excited! I have been attending to SF state for 5 years now ( super senior) and have loved every moment of it. I took a winter session class online through SJSU but have never actually been to the campus. The teacher who recommended this class to me actually had Professor Perez as her grad student when she taught at San Jose State, talk about a small world. I look forward to getting to know all of you and I am very interested in what this class has to offer.